time is flying.... and all is well...

So far so good. I am almost totally weaned off my meds (no more shots - yay!!) and the only symptoms I have been really having (besidse being exhausted) is nausea and pretty brutal headaches, which I am hoping will start to go away in a couple of weeks. I had my first OB appointment last week. I was just under 9 weeks, so I wasn't expecting much. But the Dr. decided he was going to try and hear the heartbeat with the doppler anyhow. And to my absolute surprise... he found it!!!! 164! I couldn't hear either of my own kids heartbeats by doppler until like 13 weeks, so this was great! I am starting to feel really positive about this pregnancy now. Sometimes I let my fears/past experiences get in the way just enjoying things and keeping a good outlook. I know that is something I really need to work on, because as Brandon likes to remind me all of the time, if you are going to worry and expect the worst to happen, it might as well just happen, because you have already experienced it as if it had. It's true - I know! Anyhow, I get another ultrasound in a couple of weeks and then yet another one a couple of weeks after that. It is awesome getting to get all of these little sneak peeks at the baby! In normal pregnancies you definitely do not get all of this reassurance that everything is okay. It makes the time go much faster when you have so many small little milestones to look forward to :)

The only negative experience I have had so far is that the doctor I met with last week (who is definitely NOT my favorite doctor in the group) informed me that there is no way to make any exception to allow both Kendra and Tony in the OR when I have the c-section. This is extremely upsetting to me!!! How can you have a couple pay to have their baby in your hospital, and then not allow them both to be there to see the birth of their child?? I am furious and will definitely be seeing what I can do to change this. He said I can only choose one other person (besides myself) to be there. So of course I would pick Kendra, but it is just not fair! Not only will one of them not be able to see their child be born, but for myself, I am doing this whole thing so that in the end I will get to see the expression that they will both have holding their baby for the first time, and I will be missing that if they can't both be in there. Well, policy is policy, but we will see what happens with this one! I will not be letting this go very easily, that is for sure!

8w ultrasound....

I was so dreading this appointment today. After having some more spotting this morning, I was just terrified that the ultrasound today would reveal something bad. I was so nervous in the morning that I couldn't eat, so I took my prenatal vitamin on an empty stomach (bad idea!!). I ended up throwing up before we left the house with 2 kids crouched over me in the bathroom asking me "What is wrong Mommy??? What is going on???" Not my finest moment - haha. I won't be making that mistake again!!
So anyways, we were fortunate enough to get good....GREAT... news. The baby (which looks like a little gummy bear) has grown tiny little arms and feet and was wiggling all around. The heartbeat was 167. And the best news is that the bleeding area that had doubled in size is now HALF the size it was, and is starting to clot up. That is such fantastic news!! So Dr. Jacobs says that the risk of miscarriage has dropped to 2%, and will be down to 1% by next week. I feel as if a ton of bricks have been lifted off of my shoulders! He released me to my normal OB and gave me a schedule to wean me off of all medications slowly over the next few weeks, as well as to resume all normal activities after 2 more weeks. Him and all of the nurses that I have gotten to know over the past couple of months seemed truly happy that everything looks so good right now. And of course Kendra seemed ecstatic that things are moving along. This was a really big appointment because we are really close to when we both had our miscarriages. So getting good news today was the best thing possible. So hopefully there will just be boring updates from this point forward - haha!! Who am I kidding? This journey so far has been anything but boring - who knows what we will have to conquer next? But I am confident that we can tackle any challenge that comes our way from this point on :)

7w3d - ultrasound...

So the next ultrasound showed the baby with a heartbeat of 145 and perfect growth for its age! It was wonderful news, followed by not so wonderful news. The SCH they were worried about last week has not only not gotten better, it has doubled in size :( One of the things I had thought when I saw this, was that maybe it has to do with the baby aspirin I am taking. It is meant to thin the blood to provide better blood flow to the baby, but wouldn't that mean that it would make a spot that is bleeding internally, bleed more??? So I asked then nurse, and she didn't seem to think so, but asked the doctor anyways. He advised me to stop the aspirin (I knew it! Why didn't I ask this LAST week????) and then to go on 24 hours off my feet. I am also restricted to no exercise or heavy lifting, and then I go back for yet another ultrasound next Tuesday. Thankfully, my mom offered to take the kids overnight and until tomorrow evening so that I could truly rest - it was a blessing!! So I am really trying to take it easy, although it is very difficult with so much going on. Today is Carmela's 1st birthday and we have a big party planned for this weekend. I am swamped with invitation orders, and work is very busy as well. So in between all of these things, I know I need to take a step back and just relax. I need to let this thing heal!! I am praying it will begin to clot up and next week will reveal better results. Fingers crossed!!!

6w3d - we have a heartbeat!

So today we had our 2nd ultrasound and saw a wonderful little heartbeat of 117, which is really good for the stage we are at now! We did, however, have quite a scare though this past Saturday. I felt a little crampy all morning and then found that I had been bleeding quite a bit. I totally freaked out and ran to the bathroom to see what was going on, and in the meantime, Leo decided he was going to take advantage of my lack of attention and go into my little medicine bag I make for myself each morning. As I am panicking on what to do, he comes up to me and says "Mommy - I ate your vitamins!" and I realize that he ate the 2 Estrace tablets I had in there!!!! AHH!! So between the bleeding and thinking what awful things could happen to him, I quickly ran and called Poison Control in total panic (they said he would be fine - thank God!!) and then call the doctor and then Kendra to explain what was happening. I never had bleeding like this before during a pregnancy, not even when I had a miscarriage, so of course I am thinking the worst. I was a mess. But the doctor calmed me down and said there was nothing to do but wait until the ultrasound the following week.

So at the ultrasound, they found there is a subchorionic hemorrhage behind where the baby implanted which caused the bleeding (sort of like a blood clot I guess that forms when the embryo is implanting). Apparently it is really common and not much to worry about, but I have never had this before, so I am kind of freaking out about it. They told me to take it easy and it will hopefully go away on its own. I go back for one more ultrasound next week before the fertility clinic releases me to my normal OB. I am SO happy we got to see the heartbeat and can't wait until next week - they grow so incredibly fast, it will be fun to see the small changes.

Just a few more week of meds, too. So I am seeing the light of being able to relax at the end of this stressful period of time! I think once we can get to 9 or 10 weeks, we will all be able to breathe a sigh of relief and look forward to the arrival of a new baby!

Ultrasound #1!

So we had the first ultrasound today - ONE beautiful little "hole" (that's what the sac looks like on the screen) with a small yolk sac forming on the inside. It was measuring 5w3d, which is perfect for where we should be. Part of me was thinking we would see 2, but the idea of one healthy little baby is so wonderful! I know two would have introduced a whole new risk and worry, so one gives us a better shot of everything going as planned. Since Kendra and Tony have been pregnant twice with twins though, I was sort of hoping to be able to give them that. But in the scheme of things, one is better than it not working at all, that's for sure! It was too early to see the heartbeat, though, so we go back next week to hopefully see that amazing little flicker. I can't WAIT for that - that will be a great moment. My #s came back at 5713 for HCG and 33 for Progesterone - just right! OKAY, now another week of waiting! When you are trying to get pregnant, you always think that as soon as it finally happens the worry and stress will end, but unfortunately I don't think it ever does - even after the babies are born and grown, there is always a "next step" to think about :) The joys of motherhood!!!

Beta #2!

Well, Beta #2 came back at 884 - not quite double, but a good number, nonetheless! The awesome news is my progesterone is back up around 39, so that is wonderful. That's a good level! So they told me to continue on my meds as usual, which means continuing the nightly injection. Last night Brandon was working until late, so I had to give it to myself - yikes!!!! It took me a good 10 minutes of standing there holding the needle to push it in - it was extremely intimidating. But like every other thing, once I did it, it was no big deal. Maybe I will just do it myself from now on (well, maybe NOT - hehe!!).
So from the first beta, I was thinking twins. But after the second one, I am definitely more thinking one took. We will find out for sure next Wednesday at the first ultrasound - yay! We probably won't be able to see a heartbeat this early, but we will be able to see how many are in there. I can't wait!!!

HPTs and Betas!

I came home this past week to a couple wonderful gifts ~ the first was a stunning bouquet of flowers from Kendra and Tony's parents. The most beautiful flowers I have EVER received!! And also a statue entitled the "Angel of Miracles" from the agency I used. What thoughtful gifts!! They make me smile when I look at them. What a great surprise to come home to!

Well, I just could not resist testing after receiving these gifts and ended up testing on Wednesday, which made me 6dp5dt (6 days past 5 day transfer). This was still really early to test though, so even if it didn't come up positive, I was still in the game. I knew I was going to test that morning, so I was SUPER nervous all night long - I woke up every hour hoping that it would be morning, and at 4:30 I just couldn't take it anymore, so I got up and tested. It was so early, my eyes were burning, and so when the test didn't immediately come up positive, I got depressed and then just sat there ready to head back to bed. But a minute later I looked at it again, and to my surprise, there was a line!!! It wasn't really dark, but it was definitely there (as confirmed by Brandon as I woke him up to look at it!). So I decided I was going to wait until the next day and retest. If it came up darker I would tell Kendra. Well, that morning I did it again, and surprise, it was darker! I then went to check my email and Kendra had written that she had decided that she didn't want me to test until the blood-test the following Monday. Oh no!!!! I didn't want to make her think that I hadn't respected what she had asked of me, but I knew if I didn't tell her, she would be going crazy all weekend waiting.

So my mom had suggested I go and buy some flowers and stick the pregnancy test in the flowers and drop it off at her house. It was a great idea! So I bought a little pot of flowers and went to her house, hoping she would be there. It turned out she wasn't, but her dog-walker was, which turned out great because she was able to leave it on her counter for her. I received a call a few hours later that she had gotten the surprise. She seemed SO excited!!!!! I was so happy to be able to share this news with her - it felt so wonderful to be able to be a part of making someone so happy! I was convinced all week that it hadn't worked, because I didn't really have any "symptoms". I may or may not have had some cramping 3dpt and 4dpt, but I believe I made that up in desperation to feel something! I also was tired and cranky, but hey, if that meant I was pregnant every time I felt that way, I would be octo-mom times 10!

The beta (bloodwork) was done today, and I got the great news my # was at 484!!! I was just hoping it was over 100, so to be 484 was music to my ears! The next beta is scheduled for Wednesday. They also upped my PIO injection to every night because my progesterone level was only a 9 and they like to see it over 10. At least I had some time to get used to it before having to do it every night!!! Well, now the wait is on again. Hopefully my #s will double by Wednesday. I am still SO nervous, but at LEAST we have good news so far. That's the best I can hope for right now!