22 weeks...

Not too very much to update, but we have hit the 22 week mark! We had an OB appointment, and the babies heartbeats were looking good, blood pressure good, weight....ehhhh. Actually not too bad - I have gained 16 pounds so far. At our last appointment I remember feeling shocked and appalled when they told me I was measuring 6 weeks ahead (that is, ahead of a normal singleton pregnancy). Well, the pregnancy karma gods have struck me, because now at 22 weeks I am measuring 33!!!!!!! No wonder I feel like I am at the end already (although far from it)! My back and hips are starting to ache, I can't breathe when I lay down, and this horrible debilitating cramp down my left butt cheek that strikes at the most inconvenient of times, sending me into a crippled hobble :) . Typical end-of-pregnancy types of things. But it is the strangers of the world who remind me, when claiming that it must be "any day now!", that no, it is not any day now!! Nor any week now. And barely any month now :) :) But definitely more than halfway there. And although the discomforts are settling in, I have to remember that this is not going to be easy from this point out and I need to just accept it. Because I do NOT want these babies coming out any time soon. I know I need to keep them cooking as long as possible. My biggest fear with twins is being born too early. So although this seems to be a complaining post, it truly is not. Because any type of symptom or pain that means the babies are growing and getting healthy, is one that I happily will take on for as long as it takes to get them into this world healthy and safe.
Even if that means I may not be able to fit in the shower much longer (Leo expressed his concerns about this to me yesterday) :)

Big ultrasound!

Today at 20 weeks was our big ultrasound (i.e. the 20 week growth ultrasound). Because it is twins we went for a level II, as opposed to a level I. The only difference between the two is the one we had is done by a specific doctor who is a specialist and takes a more thorough look at all of the organs (specifically the heart) and takes more time reading the measurements and what not. This is a really important milestone because at this point in pregnancy they can usually determine if there are going to be any major problems with the babies. Both babies are looking beautiful though so far!! Everything looked just how it should, they are both measuring right around the same, and both just under a pound each :) The second most important part of the ultrasound (but definitely the most FUN part) was getting to find out for sure the sexes.

So Ann and Joe are having twin...... BOYS!!!!!!!

So cute!!! It seems meant to be because Ann just had a feeling they were both boys from the very start and had names picked out for them already and everything. Mother's instinct!! The ultrasound was funny - it sort of looked like a mash-up of little baby parts. There were hands and feet flying around everywhere it seemed and they were both competing for camera time. They kept sneaking in on eachother's shots! So baby A, Luke, is apparently the calm one - he was pretty laid back and didn't move around too much. Baby B, Liam, is a squirmy one though! He looked like he was trying to do back flips the whole time.

They are both head down and in the exact same position. This would be fabulous news... if I weren't having a c-section. For me it doesn't matter what position they are in, which is kind of sad because this position is what women who are striving for a vaginal birth would hope for (although of course at any point they can flip). So I must be getting punched at the bottom and kicked at the top - I'm feeling them move around more and more each day and now anyone can feel them jump around from the outside.

It's so fun knowing what they are now. It makes it more real when you can at least label each of them with a gender and a name instead of just "the babies". It's fun to imagine both of the boys growing up together and to think of all of the things they are going to be able to share as brothers. They're already playmates too. As I am typing this they are bouncing around together! I think they're playing tag :)

18 weeks...

We had another appointment today at 18 weeks. Measuring, however...... 24 weeks! And I am definitely starting to feel it. Little aches and pains here and there - some braxton hicks contractions already kicking in - and the most wonderful part of it all, little baby flutters :) Because one of the placentas is anterior, I know it will take much longer to feel the big kicks and punches, but these wiggles randomly throughout the day are subtle reminders that there are 2 tiny people in there :) I can see though how this is going to get really difficult in a hurry. It is getting harder to carry around Carmela now and waking up at least once a night to pee already.... well, let's just say knowing I am only just about halfway there does not make it easy! But it's going incredibly fast. My OB told us today that we can schedule the c-section for around 2 weeks before the due date, so that puts us at right before Thanksgiving. November!! That's only 4 months away! That's also assuming I won't go into labor before that point. After everything we have gone through to get to this point, that seems like a breeze.

So now that I'm showing, the random comments from strangers have begun (what fun!). I always thought it would be really cool to tell people that the babies I was carrying weren't mine. Turns out to be quite awkward though (who would've guessed)! One of my favorite responses so far was hysterical laughter. I kinda just looked at her and that's when she realized I wasn't joking. It was pretty embarrassing! I think people just don't know how to respond, and of course you can't blame them. It is a pretty unusual circumstance. Some people are really interested and ask a lot of questions, which I enjoy. This is something I am proud I am doing and I like to talk about it. It's the people that make the comments that I must be making a lot of money, that I'll never be able to hand over the babies, that I must be a glutton for punishment - these are the comments that sting a little. But taken with a grain of salt. I know why I am doing what I am doing and what I am capable of. So when somebody asks me when I am due and I respond that it's with twins, and they aren't my husbands ...... I always end up adding that they aren't mine either, but one day I think I'll just leave it with the first part and walk away :)

ultrasound update..

I was a complete wreck this morning. I have been obsessing over the fact that we didn't for sure hear both heartbeats last week, driving myself crazy that I haven't felt any baby movement yet, and basically set myself up to receive the news that one baby just didn't make it. I know I always get carried away with the "what-ifs" and the over-analyzing of things. I am surprised Brandon hasn't had me locked away at this point - I know he gets frustrated with me sometimes that I can't just relax. Stressing out isn't a good coping mechanism - I really need to get into a yoga class :) Anyhow I walked into the ultrasound with a massive headache and a knot in my stomach. BUT......
all is well (thank goodness!!!!!) and my theory that I can't trust my instincts has been proven once again!
Both babies are measuring right on - they were moving all around, and we found out that Baby "A" is a BOY!!!!!! Baby "B" didn't feel much like giving up the goods, so we will have to wait until our 20 week ultrasound to find out for sure on that one. I am thrilled for the parents that one is a boy. I think they were hoping for 2 boys (although of course would be happy either way), so I was thinking for sure it would end up being 2 girls, just because that's usually how those things turn out :) I am so happy for them though, and so happy for me that I can relax now and enjoy the fact that I am not sick anymore, and just be thankful. It's a good thing they don't have ultrasound machines available in stores, because I have no doubt that in one of my panicky moods I would run out and buy one - lol!
It is now time to de-stress and enjoy the weekend (Father's Day!) and celebrate with the 2 greatest dads ever in the world - my own and Brandon :)

Yay Second Trimester!!

Here's my little photo montage of the past few weeks of belly shots. First taken at 11weeks, 2nd at 12 weeks and the last one was taken today at 14 weeks 3 days. I am measuring at 18-19 weeks, hence the large belly for not being far along! And then a photo of the parents Joe and Ann, and the IG (intended Grandmother). We had a dinner at our house so that our families could all meet which went wonderfully. They brought really cute Blackhawks t-shirts for the kids (which are in high demand now!) and everyone got to spend some time getting to know eachother. I really wanted Leo to meet them especially, because he had been asking why my belly was so squishy. So I finally explained to him what is going on, that mommy is taking care of Mr. Joe and Miss Ann's babies until they are ready to come out. He asked how the babies got there (doctor put them there...end of story) and he wants to be there when they come out (if he only knew what would be happening, poor kid would be scarred for life!). He was really cute about it though - and at least he gets the point that they are not our babies and will not be coming home with us, which I am sure he is not too upset about. He asks how they are doing and what their names are going to be - he swears he saw one of the babies feet, which really was just my belly button sticking out kind of weird when I was laying down. The real details can be spared for him until a later (much later) time. He also decided that since my belly is fat because there are babies in there, maybe there are babies in my "boobies" too :) Haha - I guessed he's not used to my pregnancy-enhanced additions here :)

So here we are at 14 weeks 3 days - well into the 2nd Tri :) SOO happy to be here. Morning sickness is gone - hooray! My energy is coming back, although I do get tired more quickly than normal. So far it hasn't been nearly as bad as I was expecting with twins. Although I had a couple weeks where I thought I was knocking at death's door, I never did end up throwing up and am feeling pretty great now, so I feel pretty lucky. We had a doctor appointment today and we got to hear heartbeats. Well, I *think* we heard both. We got one at 147 and one at 153. But the doctor said this could have actually been from the same baby. Because they are probably right near eachother at this point, there is no real way to know. So we got to schedule an ultrasound for next Friday just to be sure they are both doing okay. And then 3 short weeks after that, our BIG ultrasound where we find out the sexes - that is such an exciting moment!

Time seems to be flying by. I am so glad I am feeling good at this point because I am really getting to start to enjoy the summer with the kids. Between picnics, parks, splashparks and pools, we are keeping pretty busy and enjoying every moment we get to spend outside. I love so much getting to spend so much time with them, watching them grow and enjoy things and just be kids. They remind me every day why I am doing what I'm doing. If I could even give a day of the joy of being a parent to somebody, I think that is pretty wonderful. So to be able to give two people a lifetime of getting to have these moments.... I just can't think of anything better!

10 weeks!!

So at just over 10 weeks we got to have our first "normal" OB appointment. To my surprise we even got to schedule an ultrasound beforehand. The dad of the babies was there, but the mom couldn't be and I couldn't reschedule, so I brought my video camera and let him take a video of the ultrasound so I could put it up on YouTube. This way she could watch it while she is out of town. Technology is so amazing! Both little babies are just looking perfect - measuring right on, heartbeats in the 160s, and really just the cutest things you've ever seen in your life (hey, they're not mine, so I can brag!!) :) Getting an ultrasound at all is just an amazing experience, but to get to see 2 babies at the same time - it just takes my breath away! I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that there is more than one in there. My jeans, on the other hand, are not having a hard time believing there are two at all!! I'm already busting out, and we have 30 more weeks to go (yikes!). I'm trying to go for the "hey, I'll just unbutton and unzip my pants and pull my shirt down and no one will know" look, but I think it has already backfired on me a couple times out in public - oops. Guess it's time to pull out the glorious stretchy comfortable fat pants!

So lots of good things this week. I was feeling pretty rotten at the beginning of the week - tired and nauseous mostly. But today, I feel great! I just jinxed myself, I know. But my doctor said if I have gotten this far without throwing up I am in the clear and things should start getting a little less gross feeling. AND best news of all, I get to stop all my meds in 3 short days. FREEDOM!!! What a wonderful feeling knowing that I get to stop all the injections, patches, creams, pills...... ahhhh! I don't think I'll know what to do with myself all day not having a schedule of these things to follow. It will be wonderful!

I'm just so thankful things are going well so far. I truly need this to be a good experience, and knowing I am on my way now feels so incredibly uplifting. And I get to have the pleasure of chilling out with these 2 amazing little babies for the next 6 months or so... pretty lucky I think!!
Now if I can just get my emotions in check. I am not a very emotional person, but good lord, I not only find myself tearing up at commercials, songs, stories.... but come on now, crying at an episode (although a very moving one!) of Dora.... yeah, I need to get this in check. Darn hormones..... :)

7w6d.... chuggin' along...

There are the babies - although they still look like little blobs, they have grown so much the past couple of weeks!! :) They both measured 8 weeks exactly and one had a heart rate in the 160s and one in the 150s. ***cheering*** This appointment is a big deal to me! These first few weeks and appointments of a pregnancy always scare me and keep me on the edge. I think this is because when I had my miscarriage, I was thinking I was 11-12 weeks along and an ultrasound (after the doc. couldn't find the heartbeat via doppler) showed the baby had died at 9 weeks. Ironically, that was the only pregnancy I have had (out of 5 now!) that I didn't have any type of bleeding/cramping, and it was the only one where the baby just stopped growing. Everyone always told me "Oh, don't worry - if you have a miscarriage, you will definitely know it!". Well, I guess I proved that theory wrong, and now I always tend to expect the worst at this point because of that. I don't trust my instincts. I remember thinking when that happened that I must be a horrible mommy because my baby had died and I didn't even know it :( Even 5 years later it makes me cry remembering how that felt. I obviously know it wasn't my fault, but you can't help but feel like a failure when something you are solely responsible for doesn't make it. But seeing these babies growing right on schedule and having perfect heartbeats puts my soul at ease (at least until the next appointment!).

So, I am in the process of playing this little game I like to call "Morning Sickness..... or the Flu??". A few weeks ago I felt like death - really. It took all my strength just not to throw up and I would just cry thinking how could I possibly feel this way for several more MONTHS?? But then miraculously last week I woke up and felt pretty okay, and felt that way the whole week. At first, being the person I am, I decided that I was feeling better because something was going wrong with the babies. But an ultrasound last week showed that wasn't the case. So then I am thinking, well, OK, I was right - it WAS just the flu!! I still didn't feel great, but at least functional. Well, today I am getting the horrible yucky awful feeling back. So morning sickness.... or just the flu?? Hmmmm. I know the flu has been spreading like wildfire around here, and Leo has thrown up twice today, so I wouldn't be surprised. But maybe again I am just living in a dream world and this is just how it's going to be for a while. Either way I am just happy to be at this point right now. I think I only have a few weeks left of medications/injections and I should be released soon to my own OB so I can continue as if this is a normal pregnancy. So I have many things to look forward to in order to keep my spinning nauseous mind (and stomach) off of the fact that I feel like I may just die :) I mean, this feeling can't last forever....RIGHT??!!!